Asking for Help

This morning I had to ask a doorman for help. Not to hail a cab or give me directions. I had to ask him to help me open my water bottle. I received a really nice insulated water bottle from the team I was working with yesterday, and I had filled it with sparkling water before we left the office. When I went to open it this morning, the lid was hopelessly stuck. For the record, I'm pretty strong, and generally don't have this issue. Just try to stand between me and a kosher baby dill; I know how to open a jar!

But when I realized there was no way I was getting this thing open, I knew I couldn't take it through airport security with water in it. I had a decision to make. Either abandon it in the hotel room, or ask someone for help prying the damned thing open. And this was a real conundrum for about 15 minutes.

It is an understatement to say… I do not like asking for help. Blame my introversion, blame my birth order, blame my stubborn personality, but it's thing. And it's not just me. I can't tell you how many times I've heard clients reminding themselves with wonder and an I-should-have-had-a-V8 pop on their forehead that they can't "do it alone."

The funny thing is, while I don't like asking for help, I love helping. I'm that person. I'll babysit your kid, pick you up at the airport, help you paint your living room, and yes… I'll help you move.  I'm honored when people feel like they can ask me for help, and I show up. So I'm not really sure why I have a chronic aversion to asking for help when I need it.

I admit I was leaning toward leaving that perfect water bottle in my hotel room, when I thought about rest of my week. From New York, I'm heading back to Colorado today where I'm going to pack up and head to the mountains to volunteer with the Challenged Athletes Foundation - an organization that raises funds to help physically challenged people of all ages get adaptive equipment to enable them participate in sport. The events I help with are fundraising cycling events where we bring able-bodied and challenged athletes together to tackle big feats of endurance. 100 miles a day riding down the coast of California, or this time 50-70 miles of gravel riding each day at high altitude. We support each other to protect lower visibility riders (think hand cyclists) on the road. We help each other on with our helmets and cycling gloves. In some cases we literally feed each other when hands are strapped into gloves affixed to our machines. We laugh, we cry, we do it all again the next day. It's a beautiful tribe of high energy, service-oriented people who literally exist to help people achieve hard things.

It's astonishing to see what each individual accomplishes in an environment of care, support and help. While we're all doing great things on our own, there's a multiplier effect when we come together. More miles are crossed, more altitude is gained, more stories and inspiration are shared, and each person is fully supported in achieving their own personal best.

The parallels to business and success are obvious; you get it. The better we work together and more we support each other, the better the outcomes. Speed increases, quality improves, solutions are more effective, innovation and creativity blossom. And when we're truly supporting each other we have a lot more fun along the way. 

If you're like me and break into a cold sweat at the thought of asking for help - figure out how to do it anyway. You're just as worthy of a hand as anyone else - no matter where you are on the corporate ladder. And if you can't find the courage yet for your own sake, think about the example you can set for others. Getting better at asking for help is skill we all should continue to hone.

Without help I would not be sitting on this plane with my new favorite emotional support water bottle.

Where are you holding back from asking for help? What could you accomplish if you believed you were worthy of help? How would your team benefit from being asked to show up for you or your vision in a more active way? I'd love to hear your take!

P.S. While we're on the subject of help…. If you are so moved, please consider donating to CAF or any organization that exists to help those who need it.