Celebrate Good Times, Come On!

Someone I love very much is having a very big birthday today, so it's the perfect day to talk about celebrating. 

This unnamed individual (we'll lovingly call him the Birthday Curmudgeon) has never much liked his birthday, and for most of his adult life has chosen to let it pass without fanfare or recognition. Many years ago, I actually watched as he vacated the building the moment he spied a single cupcake on August 27. We didn't see him again that day.

On the other hand, I have a friend (we'll call him the Birthday Golden Retriever) whose birthday has become an unofficial national holiday in at least two countries because he loves it so much. He shares his joy and good fortune, parties, beach vacations and the entire month with anyone who happens to be passing by.

Birthdays can be tricky - and I'm the first to admit I'm forcing this metaphor today. Especially with some of the occasionally cringy dynamics of sitting around a cake at an office birthday celebration. It's not a perfect mirror for celebrating success. But I think these two extremes are a good distinction to draw in the meaning and importance of celebrating wins.

High achievers often overlook the celebrations along the way, because they're on to the next challenge before the paint on the last one has had time to dry. Especially their own personal and professional accomplishments. There are high expectations, continuous improvement goals, demanding business cycles that pull us away from the past and present and into the future.

But it's really important to understand that a celebration isn't simply a gesture or gift that recognizes people for what's happened in the past - a period (or exlamation point) at the end of the sentence. Celebration is a signal to our motivation centers that there is reward and fulfillment at the end of each leg of the race. The energy of celebration at various stages along the way to a big goal, works to train our brains to stay in the energy of success and possibility. We can manifest more success when we take time to recognize how good it feels to accomplish what we've set out to accomplish - big or small.

The best way to build this leadership skill is to start with yourself. My coach is constantly holding my feet to the fire to plan how I'm going to celebrate my successes. Sometimes it’s a fresh new notebook, other times I opt for a mid-day walk, or a nice dinner. But each time I accomplish a goal or experience a win, I now take time to stop, intentionally decide how I want to celebrate and then I do it. I remember how it feels in that moment to be happy with my success, proud of my efforts and grateful for the outcomes. (For more on this, here's a great article on how to heighten your reward sensitivity).

So as you lead in your career, your family and your communities - how will you be a champion of authentic celebration?

We often remind ourselves to channel our inner Birthday Golden Retriever - who reminds us that even the small things are worth marveling over. And while I know I'm never going to persuade the Birthday Curmudgeon to let us put a bouncy castle in the back yard or rent out a pool hall for hundreds of his closest friends, over the years I've at least gotten him to sit still for a dinner and cake - and I think that accomplishment is worth celebrating.